Do You Need a Wedding Dance?

Question: Do you need a wedding dance?

My fiance and I are planning a wedding. We plan to have a small ceremony and a small reception. We won't have a live dj, but we will have music. Do we need a wedding dance?

Answer: While a wedding dance is certainly not a requirement for getting married, it is a fun and special tradition. If you are planning on having a reception following your wedding ceremony, your guests will surely enjoy witnessing your "first dance" as husband and wife.
If time and budget allow, consider wedding dance lessons. Not only will you look great and dazzle your guests, you will also acquire a skill together that you will be able to use for the rest of your lives. Having the ability to dance as a couple is special, as there will be so many opportunities for dancing throughout your lives. Use your wedding as an excuse to learn...you won't regret it.

The Wedding Processional

One of the grandest part of any wedding ceremony is when the bridal party makes its entrance.

The air is full of anticipation, and the groom anxiously awaits his first glimpse of his bride in her wedding dress. But do you know what order your bridal party should walk in? And who escorts the mother of the bride? Different types of wedding processionalsThe order of wedding processionals follows a general pattern, but varies according to religious traditions. For example, here is a Catholic wedding processional:The priest, groom, and best man enter through a side door and wait at the altar. The groomsmen and bridesmaids walk down in pairs, starting with the two who will stand farthest from the bride and groom, and ending with the best man and maid of honor. The ring bearer and/or flower girlThe bride and her father, or other close family member. The bride walks on the left side. If the bride's escort is her father, he leads her to the front of the aisle, then takes his seat next to the bride's mother.However, for a Jewish wedding processional, the order goes something like this:The Rabbi and/or cantorGrandparents of the bride, who are then seated in the first rowGrandparents of the groom, who are then seated in the first rowGroomsmen, walking in pairsBest manThe groom, who is escorted by his parents.

BridesmaidsMaid or Matron of HonorRing bearer and/or flower girl The bride, escorted by her parentsAnd for a Protestant wedding, this is the traditional order of a wedding processional:The mothers of the bride and groom are seated after all guests are seated, and immediately before the start of the processional music. They are usually escorted to their seats by a brother of the bride or groom, or by another usher. After they are seated, the officiant, groom and best man enter by a side door and wait at the altar. Groomsmen may also enter by a side door, or can escort the bridesmaids. BridesmaidsRing bearer and/or flower girl Maid or Matron of HonorThe bride, escorted by her father or other close male family member or friend. At the front of the aisle, her escort can remain standing with her until the minister asks "Who gives this woman in marriage?" to which he responds "I do," or "Her mother and I do." However, some people feel this tradition is old fashioned and sexist, and choose to forgo it. In such a case, her escort walks with the bride to the front of the aisle, and then takes his seat in the front row. For a non-denominational ceremony, a secular ceremony, or a non-traditional ceremony, you can either borrow liberally from one of these traditions, or make up your own rules. In all cases, the bride traditionally stands on the left, and the groom on the right. This dates back to medieval times when the groom might need to defend his bride in the middle of the ceremony, and wanted to leave his right hand, his sword hand, free. While few grooms even carry a sword anymore, the tradition has lasted. A wedding processional using two aislesPeople tackle the problem of two aisles in a variety of ways. You can choose to only use one aisle, but this means that many of your guests will feel far from the action. I often advise couples to do the processional up one aisle, and the recessional down the other. Another alternative is to have bridesmaids walk up one aisle, and groomsmen up the other. The bride and groom can then each choose an aisle to enter through. A wedding processional with a small bridal partyIf you only have a few people in your bridal party, it's a good idea to send them up one by one. For example, if you had a best man, maid of honor, flower girl, and ring bearer this should be the orderGroom takes his place at the frontBest man entersMaid of Honor walks up aisleRing BearerFlower GirlBride, with escort if she has one. With such a small wedding party, it's probably not formal enough to warrant a formal seating of the mothers and grandmothers. However, if you still want to do this, let the best man seat the grandmothers and the groom seat the mothers as part of their entrances.

Don't forget to smile! It's a good idea to have either a coordinator, or a friend with a written list helping to line up the bridal party and telling each person when to go. They can stand just beyond where the guests can see them. They should also remind each person to smile when they're walking down the aisle!

How to Write and Give Great Wedding Toast

Anyone who's been to a wedding has heard someone give a wedding toast at the reception.

Oftentimes it's given by the father of the bride, the best man, or a close friend or relative of the bride or groom.

Having been the recipient of a dreadful (i.e. long-winded and embarrassing) wedding toast at my own wedding and been a guest who has heard others' mortifying/idiotic wedding toast splutterings, I offer these tips for those who want to write and give a great wedding toast.

Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: 2-3 hours over a few days

Here's How:

If you are not known to 50 percent of the assembled group, plan to briefly identify yourself and your relationship to the couple before you launch into the toast.

Then start the wedding toast off by offering a remark about the wonderful/touching/elegant/memorable/unique (or fill in your own adjective) ceremony you have all witnessed.

Like a speech, a wedding toast has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Don't plan to offer an impromptu wedding toast unless you're very good at thinking on your feet. Instead, well before the wedding ceremony, write down your thoughts about the couple. What have people who love them said about their match? What occurs to you about their union? Do they have shared interests or passions?

Identify and articulate positive qualities about the bride, the groom, and the two as a couple as you start to write the wedding toast. If you want to briefly walk down memory lane in your wedding toast, it's ideal to choose a memory that involves both the bride and the groom. Was there anything unique in the way they met? Or their engagement? These can make interesting anecdotes.

Essentially, the wedding toast you give should be warm, personal, and brief. If you are a stand-up comedian, insert jokes. If you are not, play it straight. While you may have the urge to entertain, keep in mind that to the bride and groom your words will be remembered forever.

Stumped for what to say? The Internet is filled with great quotations that you can use to start off your speech or get inspiration from.

Do not give a wedding toast if you're drunk. Period. If the wedding toast is being recorded by a photographer or videographer, visit the restroom before you give the toast to straighten your hair and clothing.

Other don'ts: Don't mention previous girlfriends, boyfriends, or spouses in a wedding toast. Don't talk about the cost of the wedding or wedding gifts. Don't talk about future plans the couple may have confided to you. This includes pregnancy and children. And don't make jokes about the honeymoon.

Do end the wedding toast on a high and hopeful note. Express all the good wishes in the room for the new couple's happy, healthy, prosperous future.

Finally, ask the assembled group to join you in the wedding toast, lift your Champagne glass, and say, "To (name of bride) and (name of groom)...."

Let everyone know the wedding toast is complete by adding your favorite clean down-the-hatch phrase, such as Cheers! or the ethnic Salut!, L'chaim!, A votre sante!, Za vashe zdorovye!, Prosit!, Skal! et cetera.

Tips:

Keep the wedding toast short, under five minutes.

Focus on the couple, and face them when you toast. Avoid talking about your own marriage or relationship.

Keep in mind that parents and older people will be present, so don't work blue.

Allow yourself time beforehand to rehearse the wedding toast. If you tend to get nervous in front of groups, it's okay to read it from a card.

Let your warmest feelings for the couple shine through.

What You Need:

Feeling of confidence

Clear voice that carries

Glass of Champagne

Attention of the guests

Smile.

Wedding Table Centerpieces Ideas

If you are planning to have a grand wedding but your budget is limited, why not settle for inexpensive wedding table centerpieces? Usually, these materials are costly and they could even be more expensive than your bouquet, especially if you want to use them in a grand wedding. Some brides want to outshine their friends by preferring for more extravagant wedding ornaments.

There are florists that offer them the latest in designs of wedding accessories, modern display techniques, and the most attractive flowers, but all of these are sold at high prices. With your tight budget, the best thing for you to do is opt for more affordable centerpieces. You can still come out with a grand wedding if you really wish by considering the following options:

First, set an appropriate theme and size of the area where you will put the centerpieces. Your choice of these materials should suit the size of the reception tables leaving enough space for other important items such as plates, serving trays, bottles and glasses. Search from discount stores for nice containers to be used as main display holders.

Second, cheap fresh flowers are rare nowadays so, if you can’t find them, you can just use fresh herbs as wedding table centerpieces. They can be a good alternative to fresh flowers and they smell fragrant too. You can combine herbs with different colors and leaf shapes, then, group them together in a nice vase.

Third, you can organize a simple and low-cost table arrangement yet elegant in appearance, by using reflective glasses with pine cones. You can create a trick in the table arrangement by utilizing personalized wedding favors in place of a central display. In this kind of arrangement, you can have more space for all the dishes and food containers on the table.

Fourth, if you really want the presence of flowers as centerpieces, you can just purchase cheap artificial flowers. Get some colored sand and foam available in online floral stores, then, pour them into a small vase or any reflective glass, and put one artificial flower inside.

Fifth, if you’re planning for a beach wedding, you can attach shells into pots made of ceramic for use as table centerpieces. Offer your guests with tall glasses containing shells as a wedding favor.

There are many alternatives for you to organize a grand wedding with affordable wedding table centerpieces. All you need is a sense of creativity and a wide imagination to organize them.
Take a look at more beautiful wedding reception centerpieces today and find more beautiful ideas for your wedding reception.

Special Needs

Make sure you find out and notify the caterers of dietary preferences, e.g. vegetarian, kosher, halal, nut allergies and gluten intolerance.

Order high chairs, or other appropriate seats, for small children.

Inform the caterers of any guests in wheelchairs who won’t require seats.

Table Decorations

Besides cutlery, crockery and glasses, items on the table can include:

a table centrepiece (usually one or more of: flowers, candles or balloons)
table glitter
favours
a table number card (often in a card holder)
place cards
menus
disposable cameras

It is a good idea to lay it all out on an appropriate size table, before the big day, to make sure it doesn’t look cluttered. You may be able to combine table cards, menus and/or favours into one item to save space and money.

Make sure any flowers, table cards or other displays on the table aren’t so large that they prevent guests seeing each other.

If you are putting people who don't know each other together, it may be a good idea to provide them with a quiz or some other form of 'ice breaker'.

Give each child a ‘goody bag’ to keep them amused. This can contains balloons, pencils and paper, small toy etc. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Don’t give them anything that can cause stains or permanent marks!

Bubble blowing kits can be fun but you may end up with soapy tasting food and a slippery dance floor.

Disposable cameras can be a cheap and fun way to record an event. But make sure you leave clear instructions that you want guests to finish the film (you don’t want 10 half-finished films) and what you want them to do with the camera afterward. You might also need to remind people to use the flash indoors.

Table Name Cards

If you are feeling creative you can give tables names instead of numbers. This is very common for weddings. Numbered tables are less work and easier to find if they are laid out logically. Named tables add a bit more atmosphere and are useful if you are worried about guests being offended about not being seated on “table 1”.

Possible table naming themes include:
flowers (e.g. roses)
gemstones
countries/towns
colours
actors/films/TV programs
bands/songs
cocktails/whiskies/wines
sweets (=candies)
animals/birds/butterflies
sports teams
dances
Disney characters
a word or phrase in different languages (such as ‘I love you’)
famous romantic couples
something appropriate to the number of tables, e.g. the names of the 7 seas or 7 dwarves for 7 tables
cars/motorbikes
something related to your hobbies/interests

You can also liven up numbers, for example include a picture of the hosts at age 1 on table 1, at age 2 on table 2 etc.

Table Number Cards

Table number cards are placed on tables to display the table name or number. They should be large enough to read without having to walk right up to the table.

Table number cards are usually large tent fold cards, or flat cards in a holder. Make sure they aren’t so tall that they prevent guests seeing each other over the table.

If you have decided to name your tables you can theme the table number cards appropriately.
You can use ‘hearts’ playing cards for inexpensive table number markers, i.e. Ace of hearts for table 1, two of hearts for table 2 etc.

Escort Cards

Escort card show the name/number of the table a guest is seated at. It is usually inside a small envelope with the guest’s name written on the outside. You can also use a blank business card and write the name on one side and the table number on the other. Whether you prefer a seating chart or escort cards is a matter of personal preference. Escort cards can be changed up to the last minute, whereas a seating chart may need to be printed days or weeks in advance.

Escort cards can be as artistic or as plain as you like. If you choose an artistic font for your seating chart or cards (e.g. script or gothic), make sure it is readable by all your guests.

Escort cards are normally placed on a table, in alphabetical order, at the entrance to the venue.

Assigning Seats

If you are having speeches or announcements, make sure the people giving them are seated where they won't have their back to anyone.

Try to place pregnant, elderly and disabled guests and guests with small children where they have easy access to toilets and other facilities. Don’t seat them at tables that are going to be removed to make space after the meal.

Older guests will generally have poorer hearing and eyesight. Try to put them where they can see and hear any speeches. Do not put them next to loud music, they won’t appreciate it. Put children’s tables in the least favourable locations, they have better hearing and won’t be too interested in the speeches anyway.

RSVP Etiquette

Before you can arrange your seating plan you need to know how many guests are coming. You can confirm numbers by sending out RSVPs. Typically RSVPs are sent out at least a month before the event. Your RSVP should make clear:

the nature and location, date and time of the event
who is invited (are children invited?)
a deadline for accepting (expecting people to reply within a week is not unreasonable)
how they can accept or decline (e.g. telephone, letter or email)
(optional) choice of meal

RSVP cards often include a space for the guest to fill-in and return.

You should always include a date by which people must reply, otherwise some people may decide to leave it to the day before the event. Chase up stragglers with a phone call once the reply deadline has expired.

If it is an important event and you want to warn people to keep the date free long before you send out RSVPs, you can send ‘save the date’ cards.

Little Known Fun Facts About Wedding

One of the most important and traditional ceremonies in our lives. Ever wonder how some of our wedding traditions got started? Here’s some:
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The word wedding comes from the Anglo-Saxon wedd, meaning a pledge.

In olden days, a man "plighting his troth" meant entering a legal agreement, which is where we get the term "betrothal."

In many African tribes, a man cannot marry until he, his father, or uncles have paid a brideswealth in money, livestock or other valuables to the girl’s family.

The dowry system, in which a bride was expected to bring valuables to the marriage, was observed in many cultures. It was originally intended as compensation for the burden undertaken by the new groom of supporting a wife.

Bridal showers date back to the dowry system as a way for the bride to gain a dowry.


Arranged marriages are still customary in some cultures even today. The Hindus of India is one.

The tradition of wearing wedding rings on the third finger has two sources: one started back in ancient times when it was believed that the third finger had a nerve that ran straight to the heart; the second is metaphorical, while every other finger can be extended to its full length and straightness alone, the ring finger can only be fully extended in the company of an adjacent finger.

Before the late 18th century, diamonds were so rare and scarce, that only the very rich could afford to give them as engagement rings.

Wedding rings are made of gold because it was believed that it was the most pure of all metals and therefore symbolic of the union of marriage.

Most marriage still occur in the month of June. The tradition started with Roman brides because June is named after the Roman god Juno, the Goddess of Love and Marriage.

Amish weddings are permitted only after the harvest and normally take place during the week, not the weekend.

Something old, something new, something borrowed something blue:

Old as a guarantee that the love and affection she enjoyed before her marriage will endure,

New for success in her new life,

Borrowed as a symbol that friends may always be helpful when needed,

Blue to designate her loyalty and devotion to her groom.

Note: in England the above saying had one more line: ‘a sixpense in your shoe." Brides put money in their shoe as a sign of good fortune.

The tradition of the best man started to keep the groom from going back for anything once he started for the church or wedding ceremony. Turning around and going back for any reason was considered a very bad omen for the wedding. The best man was to prevent that from happening.

In several ancient societies where men would often gain a bride through kidnapping, the best man’s job was to assist the groom in grabbing the girl, then guarding the place of their first union so as not to be disturbed by the girl’s family coming to retrieve her.

In Switzerland a pine tree is planted at the home of the newly wed couple as a sign of fertility and good luck.

Groomsmen were basically henchmen. Originally made part of the wedding party by the groom in order to keep too many uninvited people from joining in the celebration and the wedding party getting big, rowdy and uncontrollable. Today, they are simply symbolic.

In Kenya, artist paint the hands and nails of a new bride. The paint stays on for one year to show the status of a newly married woman.

The small tissues that are often enclosed in wedding invitations started back in the old raised printing press days, when it was necessary to include small pieces of rice paper to keep the printing from smearing. With today’s modern printing methods the tissue is no longer needed, but they are include because of tradition.

The bridal veil predates the wedding dress by almost 2,000 years.

The color blue thought to be symbolic of virtue and innocence of a first love, has been associated with weddings much longer than white.

Before white wedding dresses became customary, the color of a dress was thought to be superstitious. Here is the color code:

Married in white, you have chosen alright

Married in green, ashamed to be seen

Married in blue, love ever true

Married in pink, it’s you he will always think

Married in grey, you will go far away

Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead

Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow

Married in black, you’ll wish yourself back

Traditional Chinese brides often wear red, which symbolizes joy and love. White denotes hope and is usually reserved for funerals.

The traditional wedding costume of a Navaho Indian bride is a dress woven in four colors, symbolic of the four directions of the compass.

The tradition of brides carrying flowers started centuries ago. At first the brides often carried stalks of wheat, corn or fruit to symbolize her bringing a fertile body to the union and a promise of an abundance of children.

The tradition of the bride throwing the bouquet started in France in 1300. The belief was that whomever caught the bouquet would be the next to marry.

In traditional Danish weddings two pieces of ribbon are tied during the ceremony as a symbol of the union of man and woman. This is where we got the phrase, "To tie the knot."

Over 40 different cultures around the world, including Navaho Indians face east for the ceremony, as east is believed to be the direction of the future.

In Christian ceremonies the bride stands on the grooms left. This was started when it may have been necessary for the groom to reach for his sword with his right hand in order to keep someone from riding up and stealing his bride during the wedding.

The wedding cake dates back to ancient Rome, when couples shared cakes of wheat flour with their guest as a symbol of their unity.

The first tiered wedding cake was made by a London baker who duplicated the spires of a nearby church. The church name was -
St. Brides!

Seating Arrangements

You might want to put people next to people they know, or you might want to split them up a bit so they meet new people. But try to put each person next to at least one person they already know. People are more likely to get on well if they are similar ages or have similar interests. It might not be a good idea to put your ’alternative lifestyle’ friend with the piercings and tattoos next to your 80-year-old grandmother. A little common sense goes a long way.
Generally you should try to put families together and work colleagues together. But if you know people don't get on, try seating them separately. It is worth breaking with tradition to have a stress free event.

Avoid mixing age groups too much. Young children should be seated with their parents. Older children can be seated with their parents, or on a table together.
Try to create balanced tables, with even numbers of males and females. It is traditional to alternate male-female-male-female guests in some cultures. Some business dinners are seated male-male-female-female for variety.

If it is a group of people that know each other well you could try splitting up married couples for extra variety.

Try to avoid putting guests on the same table as ex-partners, unless you are sure this is OK. Remember that every room has 4 corners!

Resist the temptation to have a ‘leftovers’ table of all the people who didn’t fit on other tables. It is probably better to distribute such guests evenly.

Do I Really Need Assigned Seating?

Shouldn’t guests choose where they sit? After all we are all adults! In fact a YouGov survey in February 2006 shows that a overwhelming 84% of wedding guests prefer assigned seating.

preferred being assigned to a specific seat - 51%

preferred being assigned to a table (can choose any seat)- 33%

free for all - no seats or tables assigned - 13%

Does not apply, do not/ would not attend a wedding reception - 3%


The results were particularly clear for guests aged over 50, only 8% of whom preferred unassigned seating.

Unassigned seating sounds great in theory and it is certainly one less chore for the organizer. Unfortunately it rarely works out so well in practice.

There may be an unseemly rush for the ‘good’ seats.
It will take a lot longer to get guests seated. They may still be milling around while the food is being served.
Your beautiful decor will be spoilt by people leaving their coats on chairs to reserve them.
The last few guests end up walking around looking for seats, a bit like the unpopular kid at school lunch.
Couples can get split up. It is not unknown for guests to end up eating outside the venue because they couldn’t get a seat together at a table.
Elderly relatives may end up seated where they can’t see or hear anything.
If people turn up uninvited (common in some cultures) they may take seats intended for your invited guests.
It can be a pretty miserable experience for guests:

“I hate going to a wedding where you have to find a table where all your friends and you can sit... or god forbid you are the people who know the couple but no one else... that is so horrible... even if you are assigned a table you still have to find a place to sit at it... yuck. That is just my opinion... can you tell I have been in this spot a time or two. I have a lot of friends that I have known since I was in grade school, but we went to different schools always, and never had the same group of friends... at their weddings there I was all alone, and no assigned seats, you feel like you are standing there and everyone is staring at you as you try to find what looks like a table of amiable people, and you end up sitting at the table with great aunt lucy because that is all that is left, and she tells you crazy stories that you never wanted to know... yikes... assigned seating is totally the way to go! Just from experience.” Kim on the brides.com discussion board

The larger the event, the bigger the risk you are taking with unassigned seating. In truth, organizers shy away from assigned seating mostly because of the time involved in assigning seats or tables. But it doesn’t have to be a huge chore if you use appropriate seating assignment software.

If you still decide to go for unassigned seating then you don’t need to read any further on this site. Just make sure you have more chairs than guests and good luck!